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Furies! - The Struggle For Growth

The science of our complex human nature is unravelling the mysteries of how we create and change experience. Furies! leverages this growing knowledge to examine how harsh events cause emotional distress and intense suffering. This book, full of examples, shows how we can change these painful experiences, create well-being and enable personal growth.

Download this free book now. Enjoy the message of hope. If you don't, you are a scaredy-cat.

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How Loss Creates Depression And Growth

11. The capacity to tolerate distress and efficiently develop greater internal resources creates the greatest possibility for posttraumatic growth. Posttraumatic growth and posttraumatic diminishment can co-exist.

« The Last 30% | Main | Open Up, Confront The Fury (part 2) »
Thursday
Oct292009

Emotional Hygiene: I Want A Maid


I was working with someone. After speaking a little too long, he interrupted, “Emotional hygiene, what is emotional hygiene.”

“Images of pain,” I said. He wasn’t someone who wanted to hear about Furies. “Part of it is self-regulation. When you have a lot of painful thoughts, your brain is try to make you deal. To clean up.”

“Hygiene is pain?”

“You’re funny!” I said. “Write it down. Don’t think too hard. It can be kind of easy. Everyone thinks coping with pain hard. We avoid hard. With a little practice, it’s pretty routine to tidy up.”

“But I’m a messy guy,” he said. “Can I hire a maid?”

Joseph LeDoux1 spoke better than I did:

When fear becomes anxiety, desire gives way to greed, or annoyance turns to anger, anger to hatred, friendship to envy, love to obsession, or pleasure to addiction, our emotions start working against us. Mental health is maintained by emotional hygiene, and mental problems to a large extent, reflect a breakdown of emotional order. Emotions can have both useful and pathological consequences.


  1. Ledoux J. The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life. Simon & Schuster; 1998: p 20. Available at: http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Brain-Mysterious-Underpinnings-Life/dp/0684836599. 

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